It took me about two weeks to get over not going to BASIS. I
think I took the BASIS disappointment so hard because I believed it was his
ticket to success. I had his ticket and all I had to do was get him on the
train and he would become successful. It was like a stab in my heart to tear
that ticket up. I wanted it so bad. I cursed and I cried but the reality was
what it was and I had to move on.
I then looked at my options and I was scared. This precious
time in his life is critical. He is like a brand new plant. I feel he needs to be
protected a bit in this early stage. I couldn’t, just couldn’t put him through
the public school system and believe he would turn out all right. They wanted
to put him in a locked room with children who were lower functioning for up to
four hours per day. I say, over my dead body.
I could either send him to school or I could keep him home.
I talked to several Moms who homeschool and I felt inside that might ultimately
be the best choice for Ian. I was scared out of my mind. Homeschool? I can’t
even remember to get the chores I have done on time, what am I thinking trying
to play school all day? How would everything get done? What if I can’t teach?
I have been doing it for a little over a week and I have had
some ups and downs. For one, there will be no singing. Yep, won’t make that
mistake again. It took me over an hour to get Ian back interested in school.
Meltdown city. My heart broke as I asked him if it reminded him of his other
school. He doesn’t like to answer those pointed questions. I’ll never know the
extent of the emotional pain he suffered.
I have such an amazing support system and I am getting more
and more into the swing of things as each day passes. I stay up later at night
now trying to get all my home duties done, but it is worth it. I feel like a
better mom, one that is more in touch with her children instead of just watching
them play while I work. I think Ian really likes spending this special time
with me.
What do I do with Patrick? He is enjoying sitting at the
table and playing with his toys while Ian and I work. In the afternoons we do
more when Patrick is sleeping. It’s working out pretty nice. On Monday I taught
Ian how to tell time (only the hours right now). I felt so happy at that
moment. He picked it up so fast that he started teaching me how to tell time. I
love that little man. He wears my heart.
