It took me about two weeks to get over not going to BASIS. I think I took the BASIS disappointment so hard because I believed it was his ticket to success. I had his ticket and all I had to do was get him on the train and he would become successful. It was like a stab in my heart to tear that ticket up. I wanted it so bad. I cursed and I cried but the reality was what it was and I had to move on.
I then looked at my options and I was scared. This precious time in his life is critical. He is like a brand new plant. I feel he needs to be protected a bit in this early stage. I couldn’t, just couldn’t put him through the public school system and believe he would turn out all right. They wanted to put him in a locked room with children who were lower functioning for up to four hours per day. I say, over my dead body.
I could either send him to school or I could keep him home. I talked to several Moms who homeschool and I felt inside that might ultimately be the best choice for Ian. I was scared out of my mind. Homeschool? I can’t even remember to get the chores I have done on time, what am I thinking trying to play school all day? How would everything get done? What if I can’t teach?
I have been doing it for a little over a week and I have had some ups and downs. For one, there will be no singing. Yep, won’t make that mistake again. It took me over an hour to get Ian back interested in school. Meltdown city. My heart broke as I asked him if it reminded him of his other school. He doesn’t like to answer those pointed questions. I’ll never know the extent of the emotional pain he suffered.
I have such an amazing support system and I am getting more and more into the swing of things as each day passes. I stay up later at night now trying to get all my home duties done, but it is worth it. I feel like a better mom, one that is more in touch with her children instead of just watching them play while I work. I think Ian really likes spending this special time with me.
What do I do with Patrick? He is enjoying sitting at the table and playing with his toys while Ian and I work. In the afternoons we do more when Patrick is sleeping. It’s working out pretty nice. On Monday I taught Ian how to tell time (only the hours right now). I felt so happy at that moment. He picked it up so fast that he started teaching me how to tell time. I love that little man. He wears my heart.