Tuesday, July 21, 2015


It took me about two weeks to get over not going to BASIS. I think I took the BASIS disappointment so hard because I believed it was his ticket to success. I had his ticket and all I had to do was get him on the train and he would become successful. It was like a stab in my heart to tear that ticket up. I wanted it so bad. I cursed and I cried but the reality was what it was and I had to move on.
I then looked at my options and I was scared. This precious time in his life is critical. He is like a brand new plant. I feel he needs to be protected a bit in this early stage. I couldn’t, just couldn’t put him through the public school system and believe he would turn out all right. They wanted to put him in a locked room with children who were lower functioning for up to four hours per day. I say, over my dead body.
I could either send him to school or I could keep him home. I talked to several Moms who homeschool and I felt inside that might ultimately be the best choice for Ian. I was scared out of my mind. Homeschool? I can’t even remember to get the chores I have done on time, what am I thinking trying to play school all day? How would everything get done? What if I can’t teach?
I have been doing it for a little over a week and I have had some ups and downs. For one, there will be no singing. Yep, won’t make that mistake again. It took me over an hour to get Ian back interested in school. Meltdown city. My heart broke as I asked him if it reminded him of his other school. He doesn’t like to answer those pointed questions. I’ll never know the extent of the emotional pain he suffered.
I have such an amazing support system and I am getting more and more into the swing of things as each day passes. I stay up later at night now trying to get all my home duties done, but it is worth it. I feel like a better mom, one that is more in touch with her children instead of just watching them play while I work. I think Ian really likes spending this special time with me.
What do I do with Patrick? He is enjoying sitting at the table and playing with his toys while Ian and I work. In the afternoons we do more when Patrick is sleeping. It’s working out pretty nice. On Monday I taught Ian how to tell time (only the hours right now). I felt so happy at that moment. He picked it up so fast that he started teaching me how to tell time. I love that little man. He wears my heart.

Tuesday, June 30, 2015


When Ian was three-years-old he went to the public preschool down the road. It was so scary seeing his little body ride away in that big school bus. I waved everyday but received only a stare back. Almost like he wondered what was wrong with me. He had been attending school for about six months when he was diagnosed with autism. The next day was very hard for me. I struggled with the worry of what was to become of him. I wondered if I had the ability to help him in the ways he needed to be helped.
I stood there fighting back tears as I watched the bus roll away. I weakly put up my hand to wave goodbye when I saw it. He waved back. Tears flooded my face as I wildly waved in return. I waved until I couldn’t see the bus anymore. I put my hand down and I smiled. It was his way of telling me that all was going to be okay. He would get it, maybe not as fast as everyone else, but he would get it. From that moment on we waved every day like crazed maniacs. That made me so happy.
Two weeks ago we took him for an evaluation at Blossom Park, a Precision Teaching learning center in Goodyear, AZ. I spoke candidly with Nicky Carter and she advised me that Ian lacked some critical basic skills and he needed therapy in order to be able to succeed in a traditional classroom setting. We could try enrolling him but she suspected he would be disruptive and potentially be asked to leave. I couldn’t have this happen. So today we opted to not attend Kindergarten and instead get the therapy he needs to be successful. It was a bittersweet decision.
Tonight our lives went on as usual and this evening found us in his room trying to pick up toys. Ian has always had a problem in this area. Ian would try and try to put his toys away but he always become distracted and ended up playing with his toys instead. For over two years I have argued, screamed, begged, threatened, and bartered my way through the process of picking up toys each and every night. Typically the night ends with the parents picking up most of his toys.
Tonight I had to leave the room to tend to his younger brother Patrick and asked Ian to finish putting up his toys. It was getting late and both boys were tired. As I was putting on Patrick’s night shirt I heard the familiar sound of train tracks hitting the sides of the plastic bin. I stopped and I smiled. He did it for me again. Right when I needed that sign that we were on the right track and all would be well, he put away his toys all by himself. He will get it, maybe not as fast as everyone else, but he will get it.

Monday, April 27, 2015


I can’t believe it has been four years since Jason and I did our Body for Life Challenge. That was so amazing for us but sadly we stopped exercising later that year and only now am I beginning to get started on a regular workout regime. Jason has been back on the wagon for over 3 months and has been patiently waiting for me to get it in gear. I needed something to motivate me. Unfortunately nothing came and I had to dig way deep and start the gears going myself.
It did help that I have been reading The pH Miracle by Robert O. Young, PhD. It basically says that everything that is wrong with you is due to a pH imbalance in your system. I didn’t really think much of it so I happen to have some pH sticks laying around and I used them one morning. I was shocked. My pH was in the 5.3 range and that was incredibly acidic (optimal pH is 7.2).
It made sense that an acidic system breaks down faster and harbors disease and illness. This can be proven in a simple fish tank. Let the pH get out of whack and you will have some dead fish on your hands. Looking at the stick turned yellow caused me to think. Do I want to age fast or slow? I am voting for slow. This would take some work on my part since I love food!
Over the next week I am going to slowly prepare myself for the whole body cleanse. In the book it is suggested to take 12 weeks to slowly transition into the pH diet lifestyle. Thankfully I have already made my way through much of the 12-step transition period naturally over the past six months. I have replaced breakfast with a smoothie, I eat more raw food, dairy is nearly completely out of my diet (a little bit of cream in my coffee) but that will have to go with the diet anyway because coffee is super acidic.
Yeast is next and we haven’t eaten bread in a long time. I am guilty with the white flour and white rice but that is an easy fix as we only recently added those back into our diet. The last three are remove added sugar, fruits, and condiments from my diet. I have to say that these are already nearly done. I hardly cook with sugar and we substitute prunes and dates for sugar in a lot of my cooking. The fruits are mostly for my boys as are the condiments. The only thing I see as a challenge is the removal of meat because I love me some meat! I think I am ready to start the real thing!
Once I started really considering a drastic diet change I did become interested in working out too. Course, it is not a good idea to go crazy on a diet and tax your body with a strenuous workout program. I am taking it super easy. Tonight I only did one set of all my exercises and at most used 5 pound hand weights. I will get more in detail as the time progresses but I am excited about getting healthy! I can’t wait to see what I look like in three months!

Sunday, January 4, 2015

Back to Writing

Hello old friend! I look back at the last post and I am reminded of the time that has passed and how much has changed. When I last posted I didn’t know but my life was about the drastically change. I entered a time of nonstop cooking and unbelievable stress.  To begin with the camel milk didn’t work and I wasn’t able to give Patrick any milk until he was about 14 or 15 months old. Even then it had to be goat’s milk and in small quantities. 

Around this time I began experimenting with stock. I was reading how good it was for the body – especially bone stock. I went out and found some bones for sale at the Farmer’s Market and boiled those with an onion, a few carrots, and some garlic. I strained it and put it in the Vitamix to puree. When I was done it was as white as milk. I added fresh goat milk yogurt and made his bottle with both. 

We ran out of yogurt after a few days and I switched back to Elecare. By the end of the day he started vomiting and having diarrhea. It was now the weekend and I had to wait until Monday to get into the doctor. It wasn’t until I was talking to the doctor at that appointment that I realized the correlation between started Elecare back up and the vomiting and Diarrhea. 

I immediately went home and stopped the Elecare and gave him only stock as that was all I had. Within two hours the continuous diarrhea and vomiting stopped. I was shocked. Filled with fear, I threw away the last container of Elecare and began my walk into the unknown. I had never felt as completely alone as I did at that moment. 

What would I feed him? Would I be able to get him enough nutrients? I called his gastroenterologist and he did some research while I was on the phone with him. He gave me some tips on the types of food to eat. I asked him how long Patrick could eat stock and he said indefinitely. I hung up feeling more grounded but still unsure. I began to pray. I prayed for guidance to make all the right decisions in order to give Patrick the care he needed.

I remember distinctly that day arriving at the supermarket. I stood in the middle of the produce section and said, “God, what should I buy?” Within a few moments I settled on kale, spinach, carrots, onions, and garlic. I started to feed him only one at a time for a couple of days. I started with carrots and I poor kid wore that orange shade for what seemed like months after that. 

A few days later I then added kale and so on until I finished adding all those ingredients in. I would cook them really good, for maybe 20 minutes and then I would puree it in the Vitamix and then strain it. I then would put into individual containers (1 cup canning jars) and have that for the whole next day. He ate one cup every hour or so. 

After a couple of weeks I was able to slowly add in gelatin from the beef bones and the marrow meat. He couldn’t eat it at first but after many weeks he had no problems. Everything was trial and error. I realized if I didn’t have enough fat in the broth, Patrick wouldn’t eat it. One time I saved an entire broth batch by adding in fat from the butcher shop. It took about 8 hours to melt into it but afterwards Patrick ate it.

It seemed all I did was cook and clean for months. I got really good at making broth but by 12 months I began to worry. He still wasn’t able to eat any solids. His height and weight was doing fantastic and he measured in the 20th percentile for his age. This was phenomenal considering he was barely in the 1% when we started the broth regime. 

I attended a group at church and I asked the ladies to pray for Patrick before we said the rosary. I was nearly in tears when I begged them to pray that Patrick be able to eat solid food. That was a Friday. Now, I must add that during this time of cooking I wasn’t able to clean the rest of the house; things were pretty dirty. I am ashamed to admit my floors had lots of crumbs and various unknown objects all over the floor. 

Patrick was crawling around and starting that following Monday he began putting those things in his mouth. I was horrified. Not only was the floor dirty and he was crawling on in with his hands and knees, but now he was putting no-telling-how-old food in his mouth! Thankfully he would immediately begin retching and I would run all over looking for him thinking he was choking. 

By Thursday, I started to find objects in his mouth and he had stopped retching. Slowly after this I was able to feed him small amounts of food without him projectile vomiting. That was a year ago and we are 100%. I feel we were given a miracle. He is still small, back to the 1% in height but 20% in weight. He is smart, active, and very much like a two-year-old in temperament.

I read stories about children with feeding tubes and I realize how fortunate we were not to have to face that traumatic decision. Nothing prepares you for a really sick child. Afterwards you are definitely never the same.