Saturday, March 16, 2013

Are we there yet?


Over the past two days my resolve has been tested. I am holding strong, but it sucks. Yesterday we went to Stations of the Cross and afterwards met up with everyone else for soup and bread. To make matters worse, I had forgotten to drink my shake before we left; the temptation to eat was great.

The heavenly aroma engulfed my senses as I walked past the steaming pots of soup. For over an hour we sat and chatted with everyone but I focused on Patrick. Anytime I am thinking of eating anything, I remember why I am doing this and I no longer have the desire.

Today was Ian’s birthday and I made my first cake from scratch. It was chocolate cake drizzled with powdered sugar frosting and green sprinkles. My brain screamed, “I want cake!” Normally, I would be helping myself to two or maybe three pieces. All I could do was watch as everyone else enjoyed their cake.

The hardest part is trying to cook. Normally I try to cook based on what I feel like eating. Well, right now I feel like eating everything! I also sample what I am cooking to make sure I have it tastes right. It is a bit frustrating to hope for the best when I set out dinner. So far the only complaint has been when I added too much kale to one dish.

My body seems to be tolerating the diet pretty good. Tonight I had to start taking some Citrucel because things aren’t working so normal in that arena. I doubt it will cause Patrick a reaction, so I am not worried about that. I can see why the nutritionist was concerned about my lack of fiber intake on the diet, hopefully Citrucel does the trick.

I started getting concerned the other day when my hair began to look a little dull. It was the first time I began to worry what impact this was having on me. I styled my hair today and it looked the same as it ever did. Maybe I was just having a bad hair day.

The biggest change has been my hands. Normally they are so dry they hurt. That was the first sign that something was wrong before I was diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis. I couldn’t use enough lotion, it seemed nothing worked, or if it did, not for very long. For the past few days the dryness has greatly decreased and is located only at the base of my fingers. I take this as a good sign.

It seems like I have been on this diet for a long time but we are only at day 10. I feel like I am running a marathon and I am getting tired but I just passed the two-mile mark. This is going to be a long, tough road. But every time I breastfeed my baby, I forget all the hard stuff and rejoice in the fact that he is doing better and it is all because of me.