Yesterday was emotionally draining and I am feeling the ramifications today. My husband and I decided this week to not have any more children. Initially, I felt nothing but excited about getting rid of all the stored baby things. I started to go through Ian's closet. I was unprepared to mourn the child we lost again. It was overwhelming to know that in a few short months I would have been giving birth to our lovely child, but it wasn't to be. I have accepted that but it is still very difficult at times, especially yesterday.
Yesterday I stuck with the eating routine throughout the day but I didn't prepare for dinner. It was 4:15 and I didn't have anything cooking or even picked out for dinner. My emotional project had sucked the energy out of me. I looked in the frig and there was some chicken I needed to cook up, some fresh roasted chilies from the Farmers Market, some fresh asparagus and an open container of vegetable stock. I decided to make a Carey Concoction (something I make on the fly that somehow ends up tasting really good), as my husband lovingly refers to it:
Summer Loving Chicken
2 halves of chicken breast, lightly seasoned with salt and pepper
2 tsp olive oil
½ chopped onion
4 chopped cloves of garlic
3 chopped roasted chilies ( or one small can of chopped chilies)
1 cup vegetable stock
5 chopped stalks of asparagus
4 TBLS Grapfruit Juice
2 cups of cold brown rice (I dumped frozen left over rice and allowed the steam to thaw it out. It tasted awesome!) I cook an entire package of brown rice at a time and freeze it in two cup containers for ease of use when cooking since brown rice takes a long time to cook.
Over medium heat, heat olive oil in pan, pan fry chicken about 3 - 4 minutes each side and remove from pan. In the same pan, sauté onion and chilies when almost done add garlic. When garlic is lightly cooked, usually within one minute, add vegetable stock and return chicken to pan. Add asparagus, grapefruit juice and cold rice. Turn heat down and simmer for 30 minutes. Cut chicken in half and serve with ½ cup rice each for appropriate serving size. Makes 4 servings. This was good.
This morning I hated to get up, I wasn't as fast getting out of bed today. I still turned on the light and sat up, but that was it for a minute or two. I was feeling my workout from yesterday, in a good way, but I was feeling it for sure. My quads were sore and tight. I was not in the mood to exercise for the first time this week. It took everything to shut off my brain (I knew I was feeling weak and didn't need any encouragement not to exercise). I officially had hit a wall. I am not sure if it was the emotional rollercoaster from yesterday or just plain fatigue, but I was struggling. I was happy I only had my 20 minute cardio to do. I made it through and had to chant far earlier in my workout than last time.
To increase the difficulty, we are attempting this in Lent season. That means on Fridays we eat only two small meals and one regular meal and abstain from meat. Also, I ran out of roasted potatoes and didn't get a chance to roast more yesterday. Without potatoes I didn't think the egg beaters would taste as good so I opted to make oatmeal.
Protein Cinnamon Oatmeal
2 servings
1 ¾ cup water
1/8 tsp salt
1 cup oatmeal
1 tsp cinnamon
1 tsp Splenda (sugar substitute)
2 scoops protein powder (divided)
Bring water and salt to a boil, add oatmeal, cinnamon and Splenda. Cook for one minute, stirring occasionally. Remove from heat, pour into two bowls and stir in 1 scoop protein powder into each bowl. Enjoy.
Okay, not going to lie, this wasn't as great. Jason was doing the Army shove. That is where you take huge spoonfuls and shove it into your mouth. This allows you to obtain your nourishment. without having to endure the nasty taste for too long! I don't think he chewed. I barely finished mine, it took me a while longer. Having not served in the Army, I have not perfected that skill!
So no snacks today in observation of Lent and one protein bar for lunch (no meat). We are having soup and bread tonight after mass. I am so ready for Sunday. Jason and I talked over breakfast all the great things we get to eat on Sunday. I am getting up early to get it all ready so I can eat before leaving for choir practice. I picked up one pound of maple cured bacon from the farmers market. We are soooo eating that! Any other ideas, what do you think we should eat?
I didn't feel as bad after I ate breakfast, I finally made it over the wall. It is really nice to have my journal from all those years ago to compare against. It is only day five and I already skipped a workout last time. I remember I didn't have the buddy support then like I do now. It really helps to have a spouse doing this with you. We both can keep us in line every moment we are together. I think I am more of a drill sergeant than he ever would be to me, but that is why I write to you every day. All eyes upon us during this journey really motivates you to not miss a day. Thanks for your support!
At 12:00 pm I had an energy protein bar.
At 5:30 pm I had 2 bowls of bean barley soup (vegetarian) and 2 slices of bread.
The three things I did well today:
1. Stuck to my diet even though I was hungry;
2. Worked out even when I didn't want to; and
3. Preplanned my workout.
One thing I am doing better tomorrow: Remember to rest one minute in between sets.
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