Today was a super rough day but I didn’t deviate from the course. I got up this morning still feeling a little ill. The alarm went off and I rolled over and didn’t get up. Jason beat me out of bed - that usually doesn’t happen. I finally made it out to the garage and knew my 20 minutes would take everything I had this morning because I sure didn’t have much. I was hurting too bad till about 10 minutes in and then I started focusing on one minute at a time. At one point I realized my feet weren’t moving very fast but I was exerting a lot of effort. I then laughed as my upper body was doing all the work. I had a white knuckle grip on the handle bars and I was rocking back and forth with such force that I had stopped pedaling very fast as a result. I laughed at what I must have looked like!
I know I have a distinct goal everyday on how hard I think I need to work out. Today, I really felt like I was missing my mark, but I knew I was giving it everything I had. I finally said to myself “It’s okay Carey; you give it everything YOU have.” I knew I had to accept my shortfalls and sometimes my mind has ideas my body can’t measure up to. I can’t beat myself up about not being everything I think I need to be every day. What’s important is that I am giving it everything I have every day. I have to learn to accept what I can do versus what I want to do. It is likely tomorrow is going to be better. It doesn’t mean I quit trying; I just have to quit hating myself when I don’t achieve the nearly impossible all the time.
I ate on target today, even though the leftover pecan pie in the fridge is calling my name every time I open it! AHHH…! I am happy to report that it is the end of the day and I ate all my snacks.
6:30 breakfast – Western Omelet
9:30 snack – Vanilla Protein Shake and ½ mashed banana
12:00 lunch – Chicken Pico De Gallo and one roti tortilla (still working on it, I am making some improvements – no oil in it today!)
3:00 snack – Vanilla shake with ½ mashed banana
5:45 dinner – Ate out tonight, I was too tired to cook. We ate guiltless steak at Chilis. It came with steamed broccoli, (it did have a sprinkling of parmesan cheese but I figured it wasn’t enough to really throw us off our diet) 2 corn tortillas and one glass of red wine. Perfect! The waitress remarked on how healthy we were eating, maybe so but it tasted so good I didn’t miss all the deep fried yummyness I saw on the menu. J
8:30 snack – since my stead was a little bigger than my hand, I opted to have ½ grapefruit for my snack and no protein.
I am thinking I will feel better tomorrow. I am really happy this day is OVER.
I'm really glad to hear that you will stop beating yourself up! About the only good thing I received from a former supervisor relates to how we as women treat ourselves. If a friend of ours was feeling down about something, we wouldn't beat her up over it, so why do we do it to ourselves? Combined with much prayer on the topic, it has really changed my perspective about how I talk to myself. Keep up the good work!! :D
ReplyDeleteThat is a wonderful perspective. No, I wouldn't beat up a friend who is down, so am I not my own friend? I guess that is why there has been a disconnect. Nice to recognize that and start making ammends. Obviously, more prayer is needed! Thanks Heather. :)
ReplyDeletegreat job - I'm glad you made it through the day.. sometimes your goal is just to make it through this workout or eat clean for this meal - that's okay and it's still bringing you one step closer to your goals!
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